The other day, a friend of mine sent a group text to a bunch of runner gals about a first-date fail, where she ate twice as much as the guy she was out with and she ate it twice as fast!
That text started a barrage of testimonies of other bad first dates specifically for runners. Apparently there are a lot of things you shouldn’t do if you want to date a runner. This same group of friends gave me their insight to help put together this post of advice for anyone who is interested in dating a runner.
So, you’ve worked up your nerve and finally asked out that fit girl that you met the other day. You really want it to work out. She’s a runner. You’re not. Here’s some advice on what not to do:
HOW NOT TO DATE A RUNNER:
-Ask her to go out on a Friday night. #longrun
-Tell her all about your carb-free diet and suggest she follows the same.
-Suggest splitting a meal. Hell no. (“Split a meal? SPLIT A MEAL??!!”)
-Try to impress her and say you ran a marathon when it was a 5k. The word marathon is not synonymous with any race!
-Invite her to brunch early on a Saturday.
-Ask her to get up early on Sunday- Sunday being the only day for a runner to sleep in- it’s sacred!
-Ask her if she thinks all this running is bad for her knees.
So you made it through the first few dates and things are going well, but you could still mess it up! Don’t get too comfortable, okay? Do not do these things either!
MORE THINGS NOT TO DO
-Ask her about her jog.
-Expect her to do anything on any day that she runs more than 20 miles. Except maybe nap.
-Comment on what she eats or how much!
-Call her out on her chafing.
-Question her for not drinking during peak training or before a big race.
-Comment on how much money she spends on sports massages. “Wouldn’t you be less sore if you just didn’t run?” <– Don’t suggest not running unless you’re hoping for a break-up.
-Donate her copy of “Born to Run” to Goodwill.
-Talk about how weird chia seeds are and comment about how a chia pet is now growing in her stomach!
-Gawk at the number of running shoes you see in her house.
-Ask her when she’s going to grow out of running. (Instead, realize that running is a part of who she is! It’s not just one race, it’s a lifestyle.)
Wow. What CAN I do if I want to impress a runner??
We’ve got you covered there too!
Here’s a list of things you SHOULD do!
-Have a huge breakfast waiting when she gets home from a long run.
-Get up at 5 am to make her coffee before her morning run.
-Go to bed at 9 pm the night before her long run.
-Roll the heck out of her legs with the stick. Personal masseuse, enough said!
-Bike alongside her for 20 miles to keep her company.
-Meet her with water at various points during her long run.
-Charge her Garmin when you see it sitting on the table.
-Buy her running gear for any and all holidays. “We don’t need flowers, we need sports bras!”
Ryan Gosling says it best….
Let me know if I missed any for either list!
Good luck with your runner!
Haha Jessie this is hilarious! Completely agree on all fronts!
Nice! Glad you enjoyed Scallywags…It’s tough to date a runner 🙂
Oh, I could add a few don’ts! For example, don’t suggest that we go for a run for our first date! Trust me. Your ego won’t be able to handle being slower than I am, and I’d MUCH rather run w/my run club ladies & guys. Chances are I’m going to resent your company, Mr. Date.
That’s a great one Betsy! You sound as though you might be speaking from experience 🙂
Great stuff! And AMEN to the “We don’t need flowers, we need sports bras” line!!! Flowers die but sports bras last forever! (If you’re like me and you wear them way beyond when they should hit the garbage…)
Exactly! Any time a family member asks what I want for my birthday, I just say running clothes please 🙂
Ha! This is so spot on and rings true for triathlon, too!
I bet! Probably pretty true for all types of athletes